This past Friday I had the opportunity to speak to a group of high school students about juvenile domestic violence and to my surprise they had a LOT to say!  They all knew about domestic violence, some better than others.  The responses that I received ranged from "girls like it when you hit them" to "a restraining order is just another piece of paper...it ain't gonna stop him from bashing yo head into a wall."  There were some positive remarks which included that girls needed to get some self-esteem, because the only way she'd let a boy hit on her was if she didn't love herself.  But the conversation with 70 high school sophomores and juniors didn't stop there. We also talked about digital bullying and how boys are controlling their girlfriends via the Internet through facebook, twitter, text messaging and e-mails.  The bruises aren't always visible as they pointed out, in their world its usually emotional.  The warning signs for them is when their friend can no longer hang out because her boyfriend is dictating who her friends can and can not be, or her style of clothing has become ultra conservative resembling that of a nun.  Other signs include her being nervous all the time, jumping and anxious for no apparent reason. For me the conversation was a little too relaxed.  I shook my head trying to grasp what all of this really mean.  Had these kids become desensitized to domestic violence thanks to the normalcy portrayed in the media by videos such as Eminem and Rihanna's Love the Way You Lie? Probably. 

 

They were able to define domestic violence, sharing with me that some are just imitating what they see at home.  They were able to give me the warning signs, but none knew how to get help.  That's were we as adults come in.  Parents, don't just talk to your kids, but have a conversation with them, making sure that our young adults know that domestic violence isn't cool and that girls don't like to be hit on.  Remind our kids that videos are just commercials to promote a product, and shouldn't be confused with real life.  Rihanna gets to go home after the house burns down in the video, in real life she'd probably be on a burn unit in a hospital or worst, six feet under.  Domestic violence is real and it's growing at alarming rates among teenagers.  The only way we can get a grasp on whats really going on with our youth is to educate them and the first step is to talk about it.